A Hard Life

“Being fat is hard. Losing weight is hard. Choose your hard.”

Everywhere I turn there is hard work. Taking care of the farm is hard. Keeping a house in order is hard. Doing my best at work is hard. Being fat is hard. Yesterday I joined Weight Watchers (again...and again). There comes a point when you realize the person you are isnt who you used to be, or want to be. Im not talking about core values. The things I believe in and what makes me me will not change with my weight. I still believe in Jesus. I still love my family. I dont like how physical activity is harder than it used to be. In college I walked a marathon. Today I dont even want to walk downstairs (I know, call me lazy). I used to be "fun". Now I am just tired. Wouldnt being skinnier and healthier make farm chores easier? Wouldnt it make dog walking more of a priority?

Hubby and I are wanting to have kids. Honestly, I cant imagine being this heavy AND pregnant. I want to be a healthy pregnant girl. A healthy mom, like my own. I want to be able to run with my kids, climb on the slide, swing on the monkey bars. The doctors dont know why we arent getting pregnant. They say we can try infertility treatments. I cant imagine my weight doesnt have something to do with it.

So, heres the plan. We are not going to pursue infertility options until we are sure my weight is not a factor. In any case, kids or not, I want to be healthy. I cant count how many times I start a diet, do well, have one bad day and then get off track and give up. I am hoping by posting on the blog here, I will not give up. I will be going to ww meetings on wednesdays. My intention is to post on here my losses (or gains) each week. I have over 100 pounds to lose and figure it will take a while. A long while...

Most things in life are hard. “Being fat is hard. Losing weight is hard. Choose your hard.”

this is the final straw picture...saw this, and signed up for ww!