Sunday, September 16, 2012

How do I begin?

I have been debating whether or not to continue the blog. Whether or not to write this post. Whether or not to share whats been going on "behind the scenes". I have come up with a compromise- the blog must go on. However to protect both parties involved I will not divulge much details except to say this... Victory Garden Farm will be taking a very different twist. Tim and I have split up and for the time being I am staying with my parents in California. Tim has moved off the farm and into an apartment in the town we lived in. This separation did not come easily, or without deep thought and prayers. I am scared s***less to think about the future alone. I take comfort knowing God has a plan for me that is way better than any plan I thought I had. It is extremely hard not to have Tim here, or the farm. I miss farm life something fierce and trust that God willing I will someday have a farm again. In the meantime, I am setting up life back where I grew up. I am living in my old childhood bedroom again. While I am extremely thankful for all the support my parents have given me, it is hard not to compare this life to "before". There are no more chickens. no goats. no roosters waking me up in the morning. Instead there is the gorgeous ocean. and family. and love. Just because I have moved back to California does not mean my hopes and dreams have changed. They just need to be molded into new dreams. Yesterday my grandma and I took a jam canning class together. Today I settled into a bubble bath with the newest issue of Mother Earth News. Last week I got to farm sit for a friend. Victory Garden Farm will be alive again, even if only as a dream for now. It is my hope to update you on what I am doing in the urban setting. I have been tackling a lot of canning and will write a post on that adventure soon. I might be posting a little less often until I get back on my feet. But rest assured I will survive and be back online soon.

3 comments:

  1. so sorry to hear you are going through this difficult time.

    xoxo

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  2. As always, your optimism is so inspiring to me. "They just need to be molded into new dreams." Remember that conversation we had in your kitchen about how you do so much, I couldn't figure out how you did so much and so much of it works out. I asked you something to the effect of, what if you do something and it's not as awesome as you thought it was - you said you tweak it. Just keep tweaking your life until you have what you want. I love that you're keeping record of all the great things you have in California and focusing your energy on being thankful and adapting. You're amazing, Jessica! I'm so glad I know you. :) Now I'm going to troll your entire blog to catch up lol

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  3. Hey Jessica, I'm so very sorry to hear this. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs.

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